Your Next Governor

Arnold's Primary Qualification: Can successfully pull off sunglasses.

On Wednesday Arnold Schwarzenegger officially announced he's entering the race for California governor. Though he has never officially been involved in politics, he does have several qualifications for the position:

• Is human.

• Speaks English.

• Is the required age.

• Drinks fluids.

• Eats solid foods.

• Can smile.

• Has a full set of teeth.

• Has successfully impregnated his wife.

• Celebrates Christmas

• Has not been convicted of murder.

• Does not have multiple breasts.

• Does not melt when exposed to water.

• Has not admitted to having anal sex.

• Knows not to stare directly into the sun.

• Once worked with Joel Schumacher.

• Is a man of the people: occasionally he lives in a trailer.

• Job requires being given lines to say by a script writer and directions on how to say those lines by a director.

• Has appeared on the cover of Entertainment Weekly.

• Has not dined at a Sizzler in several years.

• Thoroughly enjoyed "Finding Nemo," just like you.

• Is big and strong and if you don't vote for him he will crush you.