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Travis and Brandon's Oscar Predictions!
This is an intro for this very long article. It's almost as if we love to
hear ourselves talk, Well, I know I do.
BEST PICTURE
Travis's Prediction:
What Will Win: This year the best picture category is the easiest to
pick. American Beauty has a momentum that can't be matched by any of the other
contenders. It's designed to appeal to the academy's main demographic--white,
middle-aged males--and it's got some serious star-power behind an art-house fascade.
On top of that, I think Kevin Spacey is about to enter the house that Tom Hanks
built, and he'll probably pull 2-3 feature films in with him.
What Should Win: 1999's The Truman Show, just because it was so damn
stiffed last year.
Brandon's Prediction:
Will Win: Unfortunately, Travis is right. American Beauty will
win best picture, and there isn't a movie in sight that will come close. While
Miramax will surely bribe the academy with hookers, cars and their very own islands,
the voters know that if anything Miramax wins best picture, they will be forced
inside a small cell with Charlie Manson.
Should Win: The Talented Mr. Ripley. Why wasn't this movie nominated?
Why? It had everything the academy usually goes for - serial killer, lush, beautiful
locations, an award winning director attached and it was partly owned by Miramax.
What kept it from getting nominated? Que Sera... I guess if Ripley can't win,
then the award should go to my photograph of a day when it when it was raining.
It was all perty outside and the rain was coming down hard. And then I got my
camera wet, but the picture came out anyway.
BEST ACTOR
Brandon
Will Win: Washington. He's black, he's still angry about his Malcolm X
snub, he plays a character that was wrongfully imprisoned for thirty or so years,
and he got his own segment on "60 Minutes." The next Sydney Poitier?
Hopefully not. The next Tom Hanks? I hope so.
Should win: I would have no problem with the St. Louis Ram's Kurt Warner
winning this award, too. After all, God obviously favors him over all others.
Travis
Will win: While I know Denzel's got the goods, I think Hollywood is still
too old school for him to win based on the Hurricane. I've got a feeling that
Kevin Spacy is lined up to give the best actor acceptance speech for the next
few years, and sadly, he's got the skin color Hollywood prefers. (not to mention
the fact that Denzel did absolutely ZERO on-screen mastrubation. Come on people!
We've got to work if we want to win an Oscar!)
Should Win: The monkey from Being John Malkovich. That's right. The
scene where he watched helplessly while his mother was tied up in a net was one
of the best I saw all year.
BEST ACTRESS
Travis
Will win: Hillary Swank. With a name like Swank, she can't miss.
Hillary stole our hearts and then she fed them to us on a silver platter. Actually,
I haven't seen this movie, but I wanted to sound all metaphorical.
Should Win: The monkey's mother.
Brandon
Will Win: The best story of this year's awards is Swank, who's
biggest roles previous to Boys Don't Cry was on Beverly Hills 90201 and being
"The Next Karate Kid." Swank will win, even though half the academy
probably hasn't seen the movie. "I just do what everyone else is doing."
Can anyone think of an actress from so far out of left field winning an award
like this?
Should Win: At some point in time, a cartoon character has to be nominated
for an acting award. I think this is the year. Let's give the oscar to Tourguide
Barbie for her hilarious performance in "Toy Story 2." What timing!
She knew when to deliver the punchline and when to let the other characters do
their deed. I was so impressed that after the movie I took out an old barbie doll
and played doctor.
Next Page: Supporting Actors and Actresses,
Directors, Porn Stars
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