Blackout Roundup

This graphic would have been better ... if only we had the energy.

With the "great" blackout of 2003 coming to a close, we decided to get some thoughts from those who were there.

Maggie Mulden of New York City: "Man, my sheets were sweaty. I mean, s-we-a-a-a-a-ty! My thighs made squish sounds when I walked. Actually, kinda miss that."

Ron Bisser of Potters, Pennsylvania: "Lucky for us we had plenty of Poland Spring. Them polacks make a fine bottled water."

Phil Peters of Cincinatti, Ohio: "My DiGiorno pizza went bad. God, I'm pissed about that. I mean, it's not delivery, it's DiGiorno."

Darrin Simpson of New York City: "I'm just glad no other part of the country had to go through what we did."

Howard Foster of the Rainbow Coalition: "We'd feel better if you'd refer to this episode as an 'African American-out.'"

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How these celebrities made it through the blackout:

• J. Lo. and Ben: Watched themselves in the mirror. When night fell, they felt themselves up.

• Liza Minneli and David Gest: Made passionatte makeup love to their hands.

• Great White: Prayed they didn't cause this one.

• Osama Bin Laden: Wondered why he didn't think of this one.

• The Boston Red Sox: Wondered why this couldn't happen when the Yankees were beating them.... ah, they would have choked anyway.

• Ray Charles: Wondered what all the fuss was about.

• Rudy Guiliani: Cried that CNN doesn't love him anymore and didn't ask for an interview.

• Gideon Yago: Cried (he's afraid of the dark).

• Kurt Vonnegut: Wondered why he's forced to be the obscure reference in this list.

• Alfre Woodard: Is just fine with being the obscure reference in this list (she needs the publicity).

• The Producers of VH1's "I love the 70s!": Wondered where they went wrong in their careers

• Pat Sajak: Wondered why he's producing VH1's "I love the 70s!"

• Nick the Backstreet Boy: Wondered why he couldn't get Pat Sajak's job.